Feeling very drained. Have been doing the transcriptions for the past few nights. Into this kind of hour. But I feel like blogging now. So if I sound incoherent, I am. And my back and shoulder muscles are tugging at me. Very tensed up.

So tired I need a holiday. But there is nobody to go with me.

Nobody wants to go anywhere, like the KL trip... honestly I think it will be a very tight trip. It's good company but it's gonna be tight, so I don't know if it will happen or not.

Saw the SIA promotions today on Classified. Sorry I mean yesterday.

DIRT CHEAP!!!

Erps... paiseh. me sound so agitated. it's dirt cheap but NOBODY. NOBODY. NOBODY wants to go anyway. Is it you guys or is it ME!?!?!?!

$200+ too expensive for HONGKONG???
$100+ too expensive for KL???
$200+ too expensive for Bintan?

Ok friends I am not blaming you. Seriously. I do understand your constraints. I am just blaming myself that I am allowing such a good opportunity slip away from me. I just hate it when I can't find anybody who has the same objective with me- just going there to relax and all that don't want to worry about what the hell money that you cannot do without. I just hate it when I am feeling sad depressed but there is nothing much I can do. I hate it more when you are going to say i should probably adjust my attitude and feel positive because I have always been very positive about things. I just hate it that so much that I hate what I am saying I am still saying it although it will ruin a friendship or whatever shit. (hey it rhymes!)

I hate myself for not being sociable enough to know enough people who can go on holiday trips with me without worrying about money. I hate myself for using the word 'enough' when in actual fact I know none. I hate myself for using the word hate cuz I don't really hate it it's just that I can't find a better word.

So much for motivating myself with Won Bin and Kimu-Taku-chan

So weird when I write horrible things like this. But this is what I want to say and I don't give a shit about it. Take it anyway you want. I am feeling very drained. If I were to do a test on energy i would score NEGATIVE. NEGATIVELY ENERGISED. (You get it? it's deep on this one do you understand me?)

Long posts. I am perfectly fine. Don't worry. It's not like the world is falling apart and there is a catastrophy (wrong spelling wat the hell, even if there is a catastrophy, even if the world is falling apart, i still yearn for a good holiday.

A good holiday.

And yes to add to all my woes, I am beginning to think I probably need to have a boyfriend. To help me, friends who happen to read my posts and feel my angst and are nice enough to apart from posting a note on the tagboard, do engage in some action. If you also happen to know someone who is intelligent and cute, please introduce them to me. (i emphasise that they have BOTH) Thanks. Don't need to look like Kimu Taku or Won Bin though. somewhere near there would always be a bonus. (although they are both cute and talented)

Having said all these, I need to sleep. Good Night. And you know what, there is performance appraisal to complete tomorrow.