I've got enough of E-Journals, E-Databases and all that E-kky stuff.
Been searching for a good article for the article critique the entire night and it's soooo difficult to find a good one. Yucks and Shucks... Feeling so fed-up. My initial fulfilling day just deteriorated into an-unfulfilling one... Finally I found one that sounds quite good... "Beyond the Balanced Scorecard: refining the search for organizational success measures" Just pray hard that there are things for me to write... I can challenge some of the assumptions, and heck.. Just follow the "How to critically critique an article" framework given by Prof la...
Did a furious scroll of the article. Note: I didn't even scan through... I just scrolled through it. ANd it seeeems technically demanding... like I need a PHD and DOCTORATE in performance management to comprehend it. Shucks....
HELL WITH ARTICLES.
**CKS
Actually today's pretty bloggable.
Started off the day with my usual inherent ignoring of any sound devices whose function is to switch on my conscious state of mind. I've noticed a trend of my body ignoring alarms especially when I go to bed after 12 midnight (or somewhere there). Well, I would say my body's really
got the nerves. Shows attitude all the time by hack-caring the alarm clocks. It's got so much
nerves that my body's only response to Dearest-Mingli-my-roomie's-alarm-clock-that-was-built-to-wake-the-entire-hall is a mere flipping and turning in bed.
As such I was 2-auditionee late for the emcee auditions whom I was supposed to be auditioner... Thank goodness they started without me cuz this guy I knew went first and it would be difficult for me to pass a judgment on him. Don't want to be biased or anything like that... Hah.
The rest of the auditionees were amazingly unamusing cuz they were overshadowed by the new PRO committee who apparently inherited the old PRO committee's traits of being eccentrically talented. Seems like there's a hell lot of born actors and actresses with dramatic flair within us... Birds of the same feathers flock together. Chickens and Ducks should not mix around.
Well, feel myself getting better this year- with a better eye for talent :) Always benchmarked my views of the auditionee's performance with co-auditioner who this year, happens to be a very experienced emcee and DJ. Yeah :) Think the experience I acquired over the past year as an emcee and emcee manager helped quite a bit. Can work towards being a talent scout. Hahaha! Let the money start to roll in...!
ANYWAY... went to Jurong Point with nicole, hoining and tuzhi after that... and GUESS WHAT?!?!? I saw this dress that I wanted to buy soooo much sometime in the beginning of the year...! It was price-tagged at a hefty SGD79 bucks then and i couldn't bare to burn a hole in my pocket... (Hell... 79 does not too much whenever I start thinking of my perm argh) But anyway, here's the CATCH.
THE SAME DRESS. EXACT SAME DRESS WAS GOING FOR A HOLY SGD TWENTY EIGHT !28!!!!! dollars!!!!!!!
I never regretted not buying the dress at that time.
Gosh... plus another 79 bucks dress I bought from LVER that day... that means I spent $107 on 2 dresses and I would like to say I've gotten a gooooooddd bargaiN!!!!! If I had succummed to my desires at that time, I would have spent $158! I FEEL GOOD man!!!!!!
I've been burning a BIG hole in my pocket recently... My depressed state warrants some therapy in the form of splurging to get things that I desire.
Ok. After this dress, I am telling myself to keep in view of the future.
STOP SPLURGING FROM TODAY, michelle. That's it. NO MORE SHOPPING.
Hell... I just recalled I need some bottoms. Keep interchanging between 3 bottoms... oppsy...
NEVER MIND JUST WEAR SKIRTS...
okok... just wear skirts... why care too much...
BUT I WILL LOOK TOO DRESSY IF I WEAR SKIRT IN SCHOOL!
aiyah! never mind la.... who looks at you anyway?!?!?!
.............. TRUE .................
***the truth is always beautiful***
zzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
After a mediocre meal at LJS, thank goodness the company was great- with fantastic PRO people around... it was
HANDOVER time.
Elation. Talked soooo much, shared soooo much, spilled all the beans about what I do... and man.. Hoi looked a bit taken aback... Felt a great sense of accomplishment having handed-over to her, and having finished my AGM report... cuz after Monday's AGM and Tuesday's Investiture, I'm gonna find GREAT HAPPINESS AND MORE TIME to indulge. Indulge in school work.
I can't wait to read up more about Political Econs and Strategic Management. Especially SM simply because I like mind games and I like strategies. I've got to be a little more risk taking and more decisive. Improve on my decision making skills. Gaps and deficiencies in me that I want to fill.
ME: Excuse me, Michelle, it's 1.35am can you get out of that serious mode straightaway? This's not the time for it.
Sincere apologies yah...
Came home had a very hearty dinner while watching syncro swimming (Olympics). WOW. AMAZING can... it is the first TV Show that managed to grab my attention off my plate of rice. Normally, I would concentrate on my food, gobble it all up and then stare at the TV. Today my jaw dropped in awe. twice. Once when i saw the amazing routines and synchronisation of the swimmers, and once when i shifted my attention back to my plate to see that i haven't touched much of my rice.
I almost threw up just now.. while eating the orange. Too full.. At 3pm, had lunch- LJS (2 pathetic slices of fish with rice and a pseudo-sambal sauce). At 4pm, had a latte frappe from mccafe, at 645pm, had dinner (green vege, rice, fish and lots of seaweed-tofu soup) Then consumed half an orange. Before I could start on the other half, I coughed so hard that my food almost came out the eeky way.
Over-eating again...
Well seems like ive got the details of my life all here.... even to my sleeping habits. Ha. Whatever...
I'm going to Comex tomorrow with Papa. Happy :) Hope I get a good bargained thumby.
Thumby: [tum-bee]
michelle's pet name for her thumbdrive. a portable, powerful storage device
Reminising about the good times I spent in the states some years back when flipping Jialing's album of the photos she took in US! Ahhhh.... she just got back from the Work N Play program (actually, it's been 5 weeks...) but heck, she went to so many places!!!! Santa Cruz, San Francisco, LA, Las Vegas, New York, and even stopped over at Taipei for 4 days... and she came back after school reopened for one week. Welll! haha! Then we were getting so damn excited about Disneyland and oh my goodness it's been so many years... lemme see 6 years and I can still remember I was thinking to myself "I'll come here again when I'm an adult"
And you know what, if everything turns out as planned.. by next year around this time, i would be bloggin about how much fun i had in Disneyland!!! hahahah :)
So this picture here was taken 6 years ago.. when my brother still had YOUTH written on his face, he is sooooooooooo cute.....! always called a handsome boy when he was young.. he still is a little baby at home although he has grown deeper and much more reflective that the smile on his face doesn't look the same anymore... cuz tainted with the proof of growing up and puberty. lost that look of mischief, curiousity... deepened by his concern for the world, politics and economics.... Hmmmmm BROTHER.............
Well.... think i have nothing better to do right.....? I'm kinda worried for my brother cuz he's taking his A Levels this year and all well's been well for him, he's very sheltered, pampered and loved at home. He scored perfect score for O levels, is from the top school in Singapore, and got his 2 S papers... the problem is... he's not been doing too well in school recently. and it's got him really weathered.. he's been committing silly mistakes.. like forgetting to call up to RSVP for scholarship talk.... for PSC selection exercise he filled up the form wrongly and didn't get shortlisted.. and is very upset about it. poor boy...... i am so worried for him!!!!!! He's never been through much ordeal and I hope all these will make him a even stronger and matured young man.... I really pray for him and wish that his aspirations will come true cuz I see in him a pride of a young singaporean and is someone who will sacrifice and work for society's betterment. Ahhh I am gonna pray hard he gets his admission and scholarship... my dear brudder...gege...
Well..... If he's gonna make it up there, he will have big responsibilties on his shoulders..and oh, maybe big shoes to fill...
I don't know... I'm gonna pray for my dearest ge-ge.... brother... kittyland.... kit-kat...
i am sick.
down with flu which sets me to instant paralysis.
my mind unable to think, body unable to move but surprisingly fingers still able to type.
haven't blogged for a really long time and i kinda miss it. i think somehow blogging sets me reflective and relaxing and i should really do it more often. Never mind if nobody reads cuz like a sprinkle of stardust that represents enlightenment, i realise that i should blog for myself. MORE, at least.
And by blogging for myself, i meant to say blogging for the good of myself.
Never mind if u don't catch it, cuz i didn't bother phrasing it properly. Whatever.
Roomie Ms Lin Mingli commented just now when she was still in the room that "It's rare to see you in the room at this hour"
Me: Yes indeed, it means something must have gone wrong somewhere.
Indeed, at 4pm, I should be well in my tuition kid's house, coaching him on Life Cycles, and Magnets and not dragging my feet to fling the germs infected tissue paper into the waste paper bin. (Why can't I put the bin right beside me? Then I won't need to drag my feet to flind every piece of tissue... That's because if the bin full of tissue is beside me, that means, i have germs hovering right beside me as well...) I am germ-conscious. Very. So, NO.
Well, at 5.32pm, I should be on the bus, going back to human infested Jurong Point... Hell, it's great to be away from the maddening crowd for a while. No one else in the room, Just the mumbling of the fan above me, my laptop, and my thoughts.
I am tired. VERY tired. So glad that my term in CAC is officially over, although due to schedule problems, I am unable to handover to my successor till this saturday.
I think it's great to relinquish the responsibility now. At this point in time, I would like to move on with my life, and bid goodbye to the club I was in. NTU Cultural Activities Club. For the first 2 years of my university life, I can say 50% of my time, attention and energy is devoted to the club and the activities I run. Theoretically speaking it should be 50%, cuz the other 50% should be spent studying and developing the academia in me. Add in other commitments while holding the 50% spent in CAC constant, you know I am not telling the truth.
The truth is... my social circle hovers around only CAC and I feel so sad that I haven't moved beyond. Well, it's my choice actually. Just like some people devote their attention to the hall, I devote mine to CAC. I kinda feel stretched enough in the club, and it's time to go beyond.
At this point, I would like to recap on my journey in CAC and how much I've learnt from it.
In June 2002, I received the orientation package of the various clubs in NTU and I was very attracted to the Cultural Activities Club and what they do in it. I saw exciting clubs such as "Modern Jazz, Jam Band, and Concert Engineers". I also saw projects like Talentime which I was very very tempted to join as organizer.
The recruitment of fresh blood into the committee came and I was very keen on running for the position of Special Projects Officer (Talentime) Reason being, I am very into music and at that time before entering university, i already dreamt of being a concert producer. Ha. Nobody knows that huh.
Due to stronger position and contention for the position, I dropped out of the race upon being offered another challenging position of Special Projects Officer (Cheerleading). CAC wanted to organise a cheerleading competition and was looking for a chairperson to start the first cheerleading competition. So I took up the challenge, went through a lot of turmoil for a first semester. It was a bad start, having a poor committee set-up, bad leadership skills, and lack of top management support. My learning curve was very steep, and I began to realise a lot of my shortcomings, as a leader, as a team player, and of course, as a student. I was not able to juggle everything well enough.
Although finally, we managed to pull off a good show by working with Singapore Sports Council, the event turn-out was excellent, I felt that I had failed, personally failed.
Then came the transition again, the old blood had to go, new blood come in. Most of us who wanted to stay on were quite keen on running for v-president position. I guess it was only natural that people climb higher as they gain more experience. Strangely, not me.
I was the only person not interested in a top-5 position, I felt that there was still a lot of wishes left unfulfilled, a lot of things that I wanted to do not done, I still wanted to do a lot of groundwork.
Indeed, then I became the first (again) Public Relations Officer of the club. Again, with no model to follow, no one to guide me.
The best part of it, everyone would agree is that I am the chairperson, or in the words that I like to put it, the producer of campus concerts in school. So, to many people, I get to shake hands with stars whenever they come for campus concerts in NTU and I get to see them up close and personal. I would say, position of envy- for many. True and not true. To be honest, of the many campus concerts that I've done- either produced or co-produced, like Alec Su You Peng- the first one; Chua Lee Lian; B.A.D & Jacky Zhu Fan Gang; Van Fan Yi Cheng & Melody; Mini & Gu-er; and most recently F.I.R, I have
NEVER taken a personal photo with them. Group photos only. The hands I've shaked- Chua Lee Lian, and B.A.D and F.I.R only. Well ok, at least I shook their hands. Most of the time, I was either at the back-stage looking at their backs and butts, OR in front, handling crowd control.
I am not a concert watcher, I am a concert producer. There's a lot of pressure on me, to bring in more artistes, but not everytime negotiations pull through. There's a lot of people out there who are demanding and some of these record people treat us students as "TOOLS OF PUBLICITY" and certainly, I want to drive home a point that, hey look. Treat us with respect and professionalism. We are partners. We promote your artiste, you entertain our students. They don't understand that everytime we hold a concert, many of our students have to skip classes to distribute tickets, and prepare for the concert. we also have to pay a great deal of money. It would be good if we can have more R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Apart from campus concerts, I also initiated a ARTSpeak series, having recoginsed that there is a gap to be filled. Think ART is not only about enjoying the surface work, what about understanding what goes behind it? So the ARTSpeak series was initiated as a series of talks and workshops by people at the peak of the ARTS. They SPEAK about the arts. Quite a clever play of the words huh? Haha... You get a prize if you can tell me who thought of this. But anyway, I realised that someone got that faster than me. While visiting the newly renovated Jurong East library this July, i chanced upon this book titled "ARTSPEAK". Fine. Wow. makings of an editor/publisher/writer? Whatever. HAHA.
So far, we did a CAtherine Lim talk. A very good one- in the sense that it was intellectual simulating, and more than 80% of the audience rated it "Good" and above. Actually, the ARTSpeak series came from here, I was thinking of a way to package this talk, so I thought of using it to launch a series...
Then we had a vocal instructor come in under the belt of ARTSpeak, but I wasn't the organiser cuz it wasn't my contact.
early this month I brought in a DJ, Lim Leng Kee. A very small crowd because of the large venue. Wanted a small venue, intimate enough to contain 100 people but we had to settle for something larger. It was excellent, as she talked a great deal about radio, and her career path as a radio DJ.. Hell should have asked the Career Center of NTU to sponsor us. Hehe...
There's always more things we can do... Like bringing in Actors or Directors, or journalists... Well, that's for my successor to run the show... Think would be good if we can invite some people, like renowned stage actors/directors to share or promote their works. Bring in a piece of literary form into NTU? That would be good. How many of us appreciate that? From what I see, very little. NTU students are mostly pre-occupied with their studies, their sports or hall activities to get in touch with more literary and cultural stuff. The mainstream is always more welcoming, I would definitely agree... but there should always be somewhere we can start right? This is a university... we're
supposed to be intellectually inclined.
Want to start on a new point on what constitutes a success of an event? Well, I've always asked myself this question... is it only considered a success when you have the house standing up during a concert (like in F.I.R's concert)? What about events that fail to draw crowd, but are strong in content- and good in management? Do we then only do events if we can tell that they are going to be popular, crowd-drawing and venue-bursting? Well... it goes back to the objectives of the event, I think. What do we hope to achieve by organising this event? What are the metrics of performance? Something tangible like crowd size, or something intangible like crowd satisfaction? Every type of event is different in nature. Like maybe we can have a sell-out event but a really lousy performance. Is that successful? I don't know... I don't study event management. I go by my guts, and the goals that I set to achieve. Finally, I have yet an answer for myself.
Now to the management of Emcees, another new challenge that I gave myself- managing emcees. A hell lot of NTU events lack emcees- and there is not such a resource centre in NTU. With the Emcee Club in place, clubs look to us for emcees. At the beginning, I promised the emcees quite a bit, such as portfolio shooting that never materialised because the sub-comm who was supposed to handle it, never could fix a time for everyone to take the photoshoot. It was partly my fault for not pushing through it and it dragged till now, it still hasn't materialised. Too ambitious, am I? It's true u can't put all your eggs in one basket. You need 2 baskets.
Which I didn't, and I myself had to carry all the eggs.... Well... juggling with PR duties as well as emcee liaising. It was a very irritating job cuz u always had to call Mr A and then Ms B then back to Mr A. Hell lot of energy zapped. And a lot of people can't see it. Nobody understands, appreciates, or recognises.
PR duties- I learnt a lot. Again, I picked up the pen and began writing press releases for the Festival of ARTS as well as the many projects that our club organises. It was not easy as I had to find the pieces of information, beg for them from the various chairpersons, and had to equip myself with information about the event so that when the press asks, I know how to answer. The lucky thing was, I only had to do media briefing for Cheerobics. It was like WOW> Cuz we had Lian He Zao Bao and Straits Times reporters there. And they asked difficult questions and thank goodness I was the chair before hand and I know all the facts and stuff. Phew. I learnt a great deal on media relations- what to say, what not to say, and most importantly HOW TO SAY. It is a very delicate issue. All I can say is, Thank God I learnt a lot.
There was a very low point in the committee that I felt that I didn't belong, it is partly due to me cuz I am always very busy, by some poor twist of fate, I couldn't go for those bonding sessions that they had. It was worst when I had the feeling that I wasn't taken seriously in the committee, despite my many contribution. maybe its the way i approach meetings- i don't like to be all serious, although recently i've been. And worst still, people make false judgements, put too high expectations and fail to recognise limitations. Especially during evaluation sessions. It didn't help when authority was over stepped, or whatever. Well, on the other hand, I won't say I am right all the time, and neither am I perfect. So fine. I accept all these and I correct people's judgements and expectations.
What I have taken away with me these 2 years, is a wealth of experience and knowledge- both of my area of interest, and more importantly, knowledge of myself. A better understanding of my shortcomings, hell, i can't see any of my strengths, damn. No wonder I am so depressed lately.
I must be perfect.
Yes. perfectly imperfect.
And here, I close a chapter of my life and move on!
Goodbye CAC.
Life Goal
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